Let them climb, jump, and yes, sometimes fall - they’ll learn that they’re tougher than they think.
Parenting is one of the most challenging and rewarding jobs in life, and of course part of being a parent is protecting our children from harm however there is a fine line between being protective and suffocating your child. If you’ve ever found yourself hovering to prevent every fall, mistake, or misstep, you might be guilty of "helicopter parenting."
What is Helicopter Parenting?
The term "helicopter parenting" describes parents who hover over their children like a helicopter. This style of parenting often involves micromanaging a child’s life, to prevent every bump, bruise, and bad decision.
Don’t get me wrong – as a gymnastics coach and a mother myself, I’m definitely guilty of this however constantly circling and hovering can actually be detrimental in the long run.
While this approach stems from love and the best of intentions, it can unintentionally hinder a child’s development. Dr. Tim Elmore, a leading expert in leadership and parenting, explains: “Over-parenting can rob children of the opportunity to develop essential life skills, such as resilience, independence, and problem-solving abilities.”
Why Falling (Literally) is Good for Them.
Children learn best through their own experiences, including failures and mishaps. When a child falls while learning to walk, they develop strength and coordination through the act of getting back up. Similarly, emotional and social growth happens when children experience and handle disagreements and conflict on their own.
I’ve seen countless kids wobble on the balance beam, take a fall, and… get back up with a smile (or occasionally a frown) and that’s where the magic happens! A helicopter parent would swoop in, prevent the fall and inhibit the lesson and the learning. Falling teaches them to problem-solve, set and learn boundaries, adapt, and, most importantly, keep trying.
Parenting from Afar: A Balanced Approach
The key is to find the balance between being supportive and giving your child the freedom to explore. This approach involves:
Setting Clear Boundaries: Establishing safe limits while allowing freedom within those boundaries.
Trusting Their Abilities: Recognizing that children are capable of handling challenges appropriate for their developmental stage.
Providing a Safety Net: Being available to step in when necessary but only after they’ve had the chance to try on their own.
Why It Matters
When kids learn to handle life’s little stumbles, they’re better equipped for the big ones. By giving children the space to explore on their own, we are powering them with skills to handle life’s challenges as they grow.
Being less hands on allows for:
Greater resilience
Stronger problem-solving skills
A healthy sense of self-efficacy
Practical Tips for Letting Go
Start Small: Allow your child to make low-stakes decisions, like choosing their clothes or deciding how to arrange their toys.
Embrace Mistakes: View mistakes as learning opportunities, not failures. Every stumble is a step forward – cheer them on.
Practice Observation: Watch from a distance during playdates or activities, intervening only when safety is a concern.
Encourage Problem-Solving: Ask open-ended questions to help your child think critically about challenges.
Parenting is hard, messy, and occasionally involves a lot of coffee (or wine 😂). Stepping back doesn’t mean you’re doing less; it means you’re doing it right.
Giving kids the freedom to fall, fail, and figure things out isn’t just about today’s scraped knee—it’s about tomorrow’s resilience, confidence, and independence.
Next time your child decides to channel their inner monkey and climbs a little too high on the jungle gym at the park, take a step back, assess the situation and just see what happens.
They’ll thank you for it… eventually.
References
Elmore, T. (2020). The Pandemic Population: Eight Strategies to Help Generation Z Rediscover Hope After Coronavirus.
Comments